2011

"PATIENCE IS NOT THE ABILITY TO WAIT, BUT THE ABILITY TO KEEP A GOOD ATTITUDE WHILE WAITING"

if possible i want to embrace mountain, so i'm satisfied enough with my success. but do people ever satisfied?no way~its definitely a lie. even when you're one step more towards your dream, you will become more greedy. there will be hopes for something better, even people start to envy with what you have. so, where's the line of successfulness?

when i'm entered university, there's so much in my mind. my future plan, etc,etc, etc~ and here i am,a graduate of university and still hoping for a better future. future~there's something blur about it. because you dont even know if the certificates that you're taken are utilize enough on the current market. so you just gamble yourself, taking any course that you like and see the market for the next 4 years.

but, i dont wan to lose hope. yes, i'm greedy and i still want to embrace the mountain, and i need hard work to ensure everything run smoothly. i'm proud for my friends that have been finding their own career path, and i know my time will come, soon InsyaAllah. never give up, hurm~ always have faith on Him...yup!! believe in myself, because nobody will enjoy the benefits except me.

"Dan sesiapa yang bertawakkal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkannya (keperluan)"

AlQuran 65/03

first impression

ok,quit talking about serious staff,its not like i'm going to be be the next PM. Lets talk about real situation,that you always encounter in your life. i'm satisfied with myself, even though i'm not perfect. i'm not close enough to become 'pujaan malaya', i'm more towards invisible person. i'll admit i'm a shy person, which really100x have problem to build a new relationship. as an example, if i'm going a new place, it takes me an age to show my comfortable side to the other party. why am i like that? i also dont know~

so i'm always listening to complaints from my friend that i've use to become passive when they 1st know me. after that, ONLY i show my true self. ok fine, i'm also had listen to words like

"she's looks like an innocent girl at first, but never thought that she's more crazy than i am"

" i never thought she's the same league wth us"

bla,bla,bla~

and they've also complaining that i have a blur face everytime~even i've got people to ask me personally if i have any problem with them. those are my natural face!!! please, please and please understand my natural behavior,hahaha =p

Example?

so after all, do i care? definitely no.....even my sister always complaining about my frown face, but i need it to think deeply.haha, people will always talk, but if you always act with what people said, congratulations!! you are natural born actor! or you are celebrity,wow!! we cannot satisfied all people, just be yourself. listen to good complaints is good to make your life's better, but otherwise, just dont think too much....

i've also heard that i'm a cool person when i'm having a problem. no, i'm not a cool person. lots of times i'm crying when i'm facing difficulties. but we need to get up after that. mourning too long is not good for your health.when you have a problem, take time to mourn, find the route of the problem and get up on your feets. use your own power to take over the world. sometimes we need friend to share everything but dont make people feel burden with us!

time to look back~

"Sometimes the best way to convince someone that he is wrong is to let him have his way." –Red O’Donnell

today i'm learning something.even though its a small matter but its important to turn my life upside down.so the lesson of the day is.........

NEVER GOING TO THE INTERVIEW WITHOUT PREPARATION,HAHAHA~

ok sincerely, i do prepare for my interview today...but not as much as i should do.because normally when i'm going to the interviu, i need to go through HR people 1st,and they will ask basic questions. booooooooo~ u're wrong. becos today i'm having an interviu with my head department, and everything is technical!! i forgot to look back to my books,studies~sigh.it makes me laugh on the way back.


why i'm laughing? supposely i'm sad rite?because its my own fault to be blame wth if i dont get the job. but people needs to learn from lesson.... keep reminds myself that its not easy to get something.need to work hard. have another job interview next week.will to start my bookworm project a.s.a.p. 4 those who'll wait patiently to cilok my 1st salary, please be more patient...i'm working hard=)


sitting freely at home those past months makes me forget about everything!!!what dgree i'm taking?farming?=)

its been long time since i'm updating my blog~and its due to too much stress,the brain seems not working.sigh~just yesterday i'm having another inteviu, and i cannot say much whether i'll have a chance or not.basically, i'll try my best rite?is it luck that employ graduate people?not really rite?


but the bes thing i share with the interviewer was, he's saying about the problem Msia have rite now. govermen tends to create thousands of graduate in challenging subjects like biotech, biomedic,engineering,science etc but pooof~at the end of the graduation, they told u that our country doesnt have specialization on that industry and bla,bla,bla~u need to have xperience in order to enter it.so, the real situation is,if no one want to give us the specific xperience, who will?does me would end up in different industry?dont knowla

mybe its jus a problem for me,or for hundreds of graduate who still unemployed. there's really no connection between university alignment with what had been needed by the industry. something should be done, in order to ensure that wawasan 2020 will be fulfilled, and at the same time utilizing what Malaysian's have. even in the newspaper las week they said about too much doctor in training, what the? b4 this people are debating about shortage of dctor and now?too much? its either less or more rite?never accurate in both of them.....

but i strongly believe in faith..need to be strong. will be using this leisure time in order to fill up the knowledge that can be grab. the interviewer suggest me to cntinue with my master, but in oversea. becos he says that the market is more demanding there. its a good suggestion, if meets with good scholarships. will be working hard, dont want to lose hope.fghting!!!for the better future

p/s: to en omar and pn amidah, hopefully i'm not burden you,since it has been a long time that I had been unemployed=(

new beginning....

hurm,finally its my cnvo...eventhough i felt nothing on that day. jus a celebration,as a mark that we have complete our course. but fortunately my friends came,and brought along some flowers,so its kind of worth to come (ok,so i do think of several reasons to skip from that day=).unfortunately, i really have problem to find my classmates and frens after the ceremony so very little pic that i had taken with them.only with my parents and schoolmates.nevertheless, its very tiring!!

so as long as i know,i have complete my dgree, i have no longer bonded with shell and my convo had just over so what's next?work!work!work!!! still no lucks with that. ayah said to be patient,becos we never know about rezqi.everything is in God's hand. we try our hardest, and pray a lot for Him to guide us to the right path. mama said to just enjoy my long vacation,becos when i'll start working there will be no more free time. ayah told me to apply as a teacher~and my frens said to find work a.s.a.p~becos i'm always broken.my car always sick and....ah,the life of an unemployed~its tiring,but i bet its more fun than working rite?

ah~sighing....life is beautiful isnt it.so i'll just go on with it.its not i don wan to have a part time job be4 getting the real job but....mybe its the time for me to accompany my parents as long as i can.who knows which parts in Malaysia would i be working on?its more tiring when u know that your brother and sister working on multinational cmpany with big salary,fuh~pressure,pressure and pressure!!so jus go with the flow.even though smetimes i feel tired with the flow,but finding a job is part of my job rite now....its a full time job!!!to find a suitable job that i will love insyaAllah.pray for me a lot,insyaAllah...

my dad,en omar~

wanna tell dis story long time ago,but never have the time to write it.its all about him,our family's hero.... even though i'm not that close enough to him,but i'll treasure him as someone who had made me the way i am rite now.yup,en omar ab razak aka my dad~really hard to find his picture alone,because he's never like taking pictures~even on hari raya!!

ayah used to be someone we'd really scared of.he has the character that made us listen to every words he said.becos he's busy working to provide our needs,we have little time to sit and chat together.everything will be direct to mama,even when we dont have money!!!so basically mama would be our representator to seek funds from ayah=p

so,when ayah had retired,he spends most of the time at home.but,during his retirement,everyone had gone to university and hostels.the only person who got to know ayah better is only mama,and his grandchldren.ayah starts to talk more,gardening,becomes more soft-heartening towards chldren( ok, i'm comparing between us long time ago and today,when he's playing with his grandchild). but he's not strong like before~he's becoming more reliable to us....

when he's 40,doctor told him he's got heart disease and high blood pressure. he's performing hajj that year cos afraid he's not gonna make it later. alhamdulillah,he's still strong until now.but afte bypass operation last year i think,he's becoming a little bit slow in action.he once said:

"nabi muhammad ada kata,limit umur umat dia cma 60 tahun.klu pjg umur,lbh dr tu,maka tuhan akan tarik nkmat satu-persatu.mmg terasa sgtla bla umur da mningkatni...."

even if he wants to take off his shirt,it will take longer than usual.he cant drive for long journeys,becos his legs will become numb. there's 1 day at kmpung where we all go to kebun, and then suddenly my father, riding motorcycle fell off from his bike becos of the stone at the road blocking him.i do think that if he has kudrat,he can stop himself from falling but mybe becos of his age,he falls off very slowly.thank God were behind him.the place is really far away from our home!!

but nevertheless,i love him more and more everyday.eventhough i've never show it to him,i'll do pray for him each time,hope for him to have a blessful life today and hereafter. hoping that he will be there during my wedding...hoping that he will be there when i have my first baby....hoping that Allah will give happiness to us in this world and Hereafter. "kematian adalah sesuatu yg pasti,maka hendaklah kita sentiasa bersedia insyaAllah".

thanx for the memories

need to calm down,eventhough don know where should i start.jus coming back from that place,and sudddenly everythings come at one time.raya preparation,knvo,and most importantly~job hunting!!hurm,back to lazy mode,and preparing mentally to be lecture by my sblings

'pgla cri keja'

'da try mntak kt sykat x?'

'resume tu da btulkn blm?'

'ari2 ada call sykt x tak mntak update'

but the most hatred thing to say

'menyemak je kt umahni,pgla cri keja=p'

who doesnt want to have a job?especially 4 fresh grad like me~but i dont want to change job regularly,jus becos i'll take this thing lightly.need to work harder,in order to make the big boss employ me.fgting!!!!

so,what have i done in this past 2 and half month?i cant say that i learn nothing at all,but most probably,erk....0.5% mybe.only frenship that i treasure.met lots of people and have a great time with them.were all in the same boat,and have the same unhappiness. and i have been given great responsibility to deal with.being a leader is not always an 'easy' task.its not like i don have courage to take the challenge,but the thing is it came too suddenly,without notice. even i myself cannot accept the prgram,how on earth may i lead and help the facilitator to ensure the smoothness of the program.and the way they guide us,erk....no thanx~rather learning by myself than asking them. we ourselves who had dgree or diploma never even mntion about our crtificates or feeling big enough to empower them but deep inside themselves they think that we are trying to show off with what we had.hurm,mybe only some of them,but it makes me sick!!

basically, want to show my deepest thanx to my best frens there~SYUD,ANEM and adik manis FAZ.they've been going through lots with me.they saw me laughing,crying etc~wthout them i don know what will happen...

syud~she's strong,mybe due to the age and experience she once had. most probably our thnking were same,and i have lots of fun doing crazy things with her.she has the confidence that rarely people our age have.luv everything about her...praying for brighter future for us.

anem~she's a good companion~always listening to my complain,complain and complain,but never complain about me.a good leader,eventhough at first she's unsure with her talent. love her jokes very much,blh wat org guling2~needs to says sory to her if i had done anything bad to her becos u know,always besides her this past 2 and half month.

faz~she's good,and she's totally pure....~very energetic smtimes but when the night comes, she's usually exhausted.a little bit moody,jus like a small child.but its totally understandable becos she's the younger.learn a lot from her,and she's really adorable from every perspective.luv to make people smile but sadfully she's a regular in medic=)take care of your health ye cik adik~

in the end,i jus wanna let them know that eventhough it seems like i less care about them becos of the way i respond to them~i'm truly appreciate them as my frens.they help me a lot and i dont know how to thanx them enough.to all of my buddies that i have get to know there,thanx for all the memories and i do hope we keep in touch in the future.....